Hey Tumblr,
I haven’t posted in a while and so much has happened, so this meeting is long overdue. We’ll just start with the most exciting first…I’m getting MARRIED!!! I proposed to Mae two weeks ago and thank goodness, she said yes! I’ve been waiting for this for so long, and I am so thankful everything worked out perfectly. We’re both so excited and wedding crazy. We are having issues with working out the whole money/venue/dates situation, but like everything else in our lives, the best answer will come to us and it’s going to work out better than we could’ve imagined.
Orange Leaf cut my hours DRASTICALLY. I immediately went out and found another job, which I absolutely hate, at Corner Bakery. The shifts are long, it’s busy and hectic, and the people aren’t so great. I was really dreading working this morning, but I got up and went, and when I got there, they were missing part of my paperwork so I don’t work again until Monday! Yay! At least, I hope they don’t make me work when I go back to drop it off haha!
Tanner was a total douchebag about my engagement at first, but he apologized and he’s happy for me now. He has been hanging out with a really shady group of people, got into trouble because of weed, and made some really questionable choices. He’s my best friend, and I still love the kid no matter what, but I worry. He listens to weird techno music all the time, and smokes a lot. He just isn’t the same guy I used to know, which makes me sad.
My great-grandmother passed away this week. She’s been sick for a long time, so it was definitely expected, but still sad. She’s my grandma’s mom, and they were pretty close, so I’m worried about her. Her family is also really crazy, so I’m worried about what kind of stress that is putting her under. She loves to play tough, though, so she never really tells me about all of it. She is just a really great person, and I just want to be there for her now because I know it has to be hard.
I tried getting back on anti-depressants recently…FAIL. I always get the worst part of the side effects. It’s just not worth trying because I feel worse because of the side effects than I did on the actual medicine. It made me really sad at first, because I just want to be free and able to enjoy things in life. But, I came back from it with the knowledge that anti-depressants do not help me, and that if I want to get better, I need to work on it! I’m trying to keep a positive attitude and let loose every now and again. My wonderful fiance is SO helpful in this aspect and I am SO thankful for her patience and understanding. Also, I’ve been connecting a lot more with God lately, and it’s making a HUGE difference as well. I’m excited about finding a church when I move to College Station, and possibly a different denomination than what I’ve been raised in…hmmm!
Most of what I’m writing seems to be not super positive stuff, which is not surprising since I tend to focus on whatever is wrong. I always forget to look up and see what all I have to be thankful for. I’m not going to go on some cheesy Thanksgiving rant and make everyone sick, but truly, I have SO much to be thankful for. I am getting married to the most amazing woman I have ever met. She brings so much joy to my life, and gives me so much purpose! I have said this once, and I’ll say it again, she’s everything I wanted, and everything I never knew I needed. She pulls me up out of whatever muck I’m facing that day, and puts me in her arms where I’m safe and none of that matters anymore. And I get that for the rest of my life! I’m so lucky!! My family and I are getting along so much better, and I feel really good talking to them and being around them. I’m getting ready to move to a brand new place and start with some fresh friends and finish my education, and that’s SO exciting. My relationship with Tyler, TX has lost it’s spark, and it’s time to move on. And in all this, I’m drawing closer to God, to my fiance, and most of all, myself. Everyday I’m learning more about myself, and understanding what makes me, me. I’m working on what I don’t like, and learning to appreciate the things I do. Yes, there are some things that could be better, but one can’t ask for perfect! I love my woman, and I love the life I have with her, and that’s all I really need.
